I will always miss the way you were there
by elizabethjstb
Summary: Somone is dead, who died? why did they kill themselves? there loved one is dead also but still alive Tissues are needed


We were always in love

_We were always in love_

_Disclaimer: __I don't own Gossip-Girl, but this fanfic I own, yes I love the character of Chuck, its based on my friend who passed away on Sunday ____ R.I.P Jules I'll miss you so much it hurts to question how close we were. Anyway ENJOY remember reviews _

"Blair, Chuck killed himself last night" Nate said solemnly to Blair, as she sat down, she looked at Serena and then Nate and said, "No he can't be I saw him last night!" she couldn't accept that her boyfriend had killed himself, "Why" was the main question she thought over and over, "Come on Blair we have assembly St Judes are coming also" Serena said. Blair shook her head and said, "No I have to go"

"Blair its going to be alright" Nate said to Blair and looked at her as he leaned into hug her, she pulled away and said, "NO ITS NOT CHUCK WAS THE ONE PERSON I HAD LOVED AND NOW HE IS GONE!" Blair ran off, Nate called out, "BLAIR!" she hopped into the nearest cab.

She felt the tears rolling her face, she got out of the cab at the palace hotel, she ran into the hotel, she took the elevator up to room 1419, she ran to Chuck's suite, she knocked on the door, Misty opened the door, she look red eyed, she smiled and said, "Blair" she let Blair in, the hotel room felt different.

For some reason it felt different, maybe because Chuck wasn't in there, Bart came out of the bathroom with a police officer, Blair sat down on the lounge and said, "Hi Mr Bass I am so sorry" Bart looked at Blair and said, "Bart, please its fine how are you?" Blair just burst into tears and said, "I cannot live without out him he was the only person keeping me sane"

She noticed the bed was unmade, the sheets were torn and had blood stains and the bottle of Scotch that always had scotch in it, this time it was empty, and the glass was broken, this was so unlike Chuck. She looked on his bedside table, there was a photo of him and Blair, and it made her smile. But he was gone.

The love of her life, the one she wanted to marry was dead, they were planning to marry at the end of senior year, be together forever, she thought of the time her and Chuck had first slept together he was the only person she felt safe with.

Misty came over to Blair and said, "I'm so sorry sweetie oh and we found this morning" she handed Blair an envelope saying, _Blair-Bear Warldof-Bass _Blair smiled at the nickname and said, "Thank you Misty"

She tore open the envelope inside was an in depth letter saying,

_Dearest Blair,_

_By the time you get this I will be gone, I know it will break your heart, but I love you Blair Warldof, I am gone because my father wants me to be something that I'm never going to be or want to be._

_With all the times of us together I'll remember and cherish because you were the love of my life the only girl I loved let alone wanted, I promised you the world I didn't show you the world but I promise you this you can see the world Blair_

_You can do whatever you want Blair, I have loved you since before school remember prep school, you meant the world to me, you were somebody amazing you made me the person who I wanted to be not my father. _

_With the love I had for you I wish somebody else to give you the same very happiness _

_I will never forget you and your vanilla scented hair and amazing smile and just everything about you_

_I will always love you_

_Love Charles Bartholomew Bass aka Chuck or your dearest Chuckie_

_Xoxo _

The tears ran down Blair's face, inside the envelope was two tickets for "around the world" one for a Ms. Blair Warldof and a Mr. Charles Bass. Inside also was an engagement ring, it was a tiffany's ring, engraved on the inside was "Blair Bass" she smiled she placed the ring on her thumb.

Bart came into the living room and said, "Blair are you ok? And this is something Chuck wanted me to give you" She looked at him and said, "Yeah I am ok just in shock. Misty handed Blair the present, it was his scarf, his trademark his life was in this scarf.

It engraved in gold, "C.B", she sobbed as she wore it, the aroma of marijuana and expensive aftershave made her shiver but still sad. "Blair the funeral is on Friday and we'd be honoured if you did a eulogy" Bart said, Blair sniffled and said, "I'd love too I better get home" Bart said, "Ok than Blair" she walked down the lonely streets of New York. She saw a limo drive past, she instantly thought of Chuck.

She saw a few St Jude Boys sitting in Central Park all sharing a joint, again she thought of Chuck, she walked past Victor Victrola, again she thought of Chuck he was everywhere.

Blair felt the rain falling down on her head, she hurried home she couldn't stand the rain, but Chuck also made her think the rain was someone's way of crying, she got home there was Dorota and Eleanor having morning tea, "Blair, what are you doing home, School called and you didn't show up!" Eleanor said to her daughter, Blair went over to Eleanor and said, "Mom, Chuck killed himself last night, he slit his wrists with his bottle of scotch"

Eleanor looked at Blair and said, "Oh Blair I'm so sorry" as she held her daughter and comforted her, Blair got up and said, "I'm going to my room" Blair walked upstairs and went into her room, she curled up on her bed and sobbed.

Three days later was the funeral Blair was dreading it, she got up and dressed in a Gucci dress with a Kate Spade handbag, Blair hadn't ate or slept in the past few days, she felt sick she ate an almond and then left.

She noticed Nate and Serena were there, Nate was also doing a eulogy, the two girls hugged it was going to be hard without Chuck. Last coming in was Lily with Bart and Misty and her new husband.

It was Blair's time to get up and said Chucks eulogy she got up without a piece of paper and said, "I was invited to get up here to talk about Charles or Chuck, he was a loving friend, boyfriend and son to many people he was a friendly compassionate wonderful, beautiful young man with his eyes set on the world, he strived to live life as it was he had a passion for several things" Blair stopped she couldn't go on she broke down, all of St. Judes and St Constance was there also.

Blair got down from the podium everyone smiled at her, she tried to succeed she wondered why did Chuck try to take his own life, what was the problem, why did it succeed.

Blair sat down as she watched everyone leave and pay there respects to Chuck, she wanted to be last, she was last, she went over, the saw his lifeless body lay there, he looked angelic, his face was white, his eyes were still full of life, unlike the rest of his body, his dark hair was brushed off his face, she saw his wrists covered in cuts with empty blood wounds, she wept, she kissed her two fingers and placed them on Chuck's rose coloured lips.

She then saw Nate come over to her, "Blair" he said as she hugged him and cried, he held onto her for a good ten minutes in a long lingering hug. Then Bart came in and said, "Its time" Nate nodded as Nate, Dan, and two other boys carried the coffin out.

Blair held onto a handkerchief, Chuck gave her it initialled, "C. B" she watched the coffin slowly go down into the ground, she looked at the tombstone-Charles Bartholomew Bass 1990-2008, a young life gone in a second.

After the funeral, Blair didn't want to go to the wake she wanted to go home, she needed to go home, she went straight into her bathroom and found every prescription drug in her mothers name she also found her fathers shotgun with the initials H.B also known as Harold Bass, she also found a bottle of Grey Goose vodka, she swallowed the pills one by one, with drinks of vodka, as she finished them she felt sick, she tried her best to throw them up.

She stumbled into her bedroom she dropped the bottle on the bedroom floor, vodka hit the floor, the glass seemed unbroken, with a shotgun in Blair's hand she sobbed and said, "If God Judges HIM why can't he judge me with the bloody murder of death shall be mine!" As she shot the gun into her head Blair was found dead on the floor with Chuck's handkerchief in her hand, Dorota found Blair two hours later.

Eleanor never realised how depressed her daughter was without the love of her life, Blair was the one person in Serena's life who she could trust, and Blair Warldof was adored and loved by many.

End of story 

_A/N: yes this is factual on somebody I know, R.I.P____, reviews? I know it's sad I'm crying as I wrote this _

_Love L_

_Xxoxo_


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